XXIII Waterfalls by Eli Oko

I was supposed to see the pretty things in life
Joy abundant like waterfalls overflowing in my days
I was supposed to be able to say

“I love you” in more than 23 ways
I had plans for this moment

Like dreams I made real
I knew what I was supposed to do
Exactly how I should feel
I shouldn’t be short breath
Teary eyed
Holding to my heart
As the organ tears from the root of me
And begins to fall apart
I was supposed to cherish the heart beat
Not fear it soon will stop
I had hopes for the hands I held up high
Honest about what I am and clear about what I’m not
I remember making notes and writing down
Promises from myself to me
I remember answering questions about life
Confident in my speech
So confidently
I would mark my name down
And each letter felt engraved
As I was clear about identity
It was never meant to change
I was supposed to be able to say

“I’m happy” in more than 23 ways
I told everyone my plans

There are things I dare not hide
For if they never heard it from my voice
They’ll surely see it in my eyes
They’ll read it in my words
As I share all things I write
And then they’ll feel it in their midst
As I carry purpose by my side
It’s my fault I guess
I’m likely the only left to blame
It’s like the mistakes have piled before us
And I’m the only left to claim
So, they’re mine
It’s time to close the case
We’ve judged and pronounced me guilty
I think there are no more steps to take
We’ve reached a common ground
And now we’ll watch the foundation break
Because this was never quite my expectation
As beneath the waterfalls I lay
Collected words echo loud, and all that I can say

Is that I hope I find my 23 reasons
Before it is too late.