November 2018 Writing Challenge

November Writing Challenge 2018

Thursday November 1st 2018

Day 1: List 10 things that make you really happy.

In no particular order…

The moon
The sound of rain
My Mum laughing
Technology
Friends and Family
My relationship with God
Jelly
The ability to recall memories
Sleeping
Love

Friday November 2nd 2018

Day 2: Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot.

The problem with me is that I sometimes hold on to things that are worthless, I hoard words and tell myself that one day I’ll know why this is something to hold. 3 years ago someone said “You are unstable, you are a liability” and I have held those words too close for comfort ever since. Maybe in an attempt to prove them wrong. Whatever the reason, it’s here in my heart and I think it is here to stay. I do not wish to define myself with the words of others, so maybe I hold on to it because it helps to define the person who said it.

Saturday November 3rd 2018

Day 3: What are your top 3 pet peeves?

The first three that come to mind are…

The chapping noises people make when eating

Burps

My legs go numb when game scores are not kept correctly (Points ALWAYS matter)

Sunday November 4th 2018

Day 4: Write about someone who inspires you.

I have a friend. He is a photographer, Videographer and VFX Artist for Film. He is the most talented person I know and everything he does is beyond understanding. He has such a good eye for details and a keen ear for sound. He experiences life in ways I have seen no other person relate. Not only that but he is humble. He worked on The Avengers movie of this year and we saw his name scroll through the credits as we sat in the cinema. I already knew, but at this moment it became even clearer Prince Yiadom is the coolest person I know. I recommend you check out his work for yourself. He works on so many projects – there is something for everyone. Here are ways to find him…

Instagram

Principality

IGTV

Twitter

Prince_YY

Website

Prince Yiadom

Monday November 5th 2018

Day 5: List five places you want to visit.

Tokyo

Hawaii

Route 66

Amsterdam

Venice

Tuesday November 6th 2018

Day 6: Five ways to win my heart.

Be passionate about something

Make me laugh

Love God more than you love me

Buy me Jelly/Mcdonalds/Pizza

Let me in your heart so I can see inside your beautiful

Wednesday November 7th 2018

Day 7:  List 10 songs that you’re loving right now.

I’d much rather put my Spotify music list of saved songs on shuffle and note the first 10 that present itself. I think that would speak more than anything I could concoct. 

  1. I Lied – Tove Styrke 
  2. We Don’t Care – Sigala, The Vamps
  3. Say You Love Me – Jessie Ware
  4. Dance To This – Troye Sivan ft Ariana Grande
  5. Back To You – Selena Gomez
  6. Frozen – Madonna
  7. No Es Justo – J Balvin, Zion & Lennox
  8. Begin Here – Jon E. Amber
  9. Down – Gxby
  10. Let Me Down Slowly – Alec Benjamin

Actually that worked better than I could ever imagine. Listen to that little playlist and it would let you into my mind right now. Enjoy x

Thursday November 8th 2018

Day 8:  Share something you struggle with.

Depression. But I heard something that really resonated with me today. A number of quotes from one particular psychologist Jordan Peterson;

  • Don’t use a tragic past as an excuse to not move forward it is counterproductive.
  • Falling in love is discrimination it’s the ultimate exclusionary act.
  • The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom because the fabric of reality is ‘untwistable’.
  • Don’t sacrifice your stability.
  • Don’t blur the lines between you and your illness.

Although it is currently 5:15am and I am unable to sleep in fear another day comes forcing me to face my reality and force me to move forward.

Friday November 9th 2018

Day 9:  Post some words of wisdom that speak to you.

Sadly I am back dating this and well the most touching words were posted just above. However a profound idea and concept of recognising the now had befallen me lately and all I keep thinking in my mind it…

“it is time.”

Translate however you may, it is powerful nonetheless.

Saturday November 10th 2018

Day 10: Write about something for which you feel freely.

I personally hate the term “Motherly Instincts” It implies that only women gain a trigger once entering motherhood that produces these powerful capabilities to nurture and love beyond limits. It creates distance between fathers and it is a widely accepted theory that women have stronger bonds to the unborn and then newly born than fathers could ever have. They simply boil it down to carrying the child for 9 months, sharing nutrients and then the intimate mysteries of labour. True these are ways in which no man could ever relate but how can we be so sure that those instincts are only produced due to those variables?

I question: Since we know God is capable of nurturing Isaiah 66:12,13 says;

“For thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will extend peace… ye shall be borne upon her sides, and be dandled upon her knees. As one whom his mother comforteth, so I will comfort you…” – King James Version

“This is what Jehovah says: “Here I am extending to her peace… You will nurse and be carried on the hip, And you will be bounced on the knees. As a mother comforts her son, So I will keep comforting you…” – New World Translation

We are presented with this heartwarming scene –  a loving mother carrying a baby on her hip or bouncing him on her knees. Likewise God touchingly illustrates the intensity and tenderness of his love for true worshippers.

Interestingly God is pictured as a loving mother nursing a baby. We often boil that instinct down to Motherly instincts or a mothers intuition, but God is not a mother. Yet he has this quality to the finest degree, what point does this make and why is it encouraging to meditate on?

We are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:26), therefore we do not need to be specifically mothers who have this instinct, intuition or willingness to help others. We have the desire and ability in us all. Therefore the tenderness and deep love displayed by a woman, often triggered by pregnancy or after child birth is potentially also prevalent in men. How they display this may differ and how we can measure this is a whole further subject however the point remains. 

We must stop raising our boys to become men who are told that they have a much less significant role to play in the emotional bond and initial introduction of a new born baby into the world. They in fact have every right to develop the same primal instincts of nursing and care that a woman has and translate it in ways in which he seems practical and efficient for the growth and development of the family. I do not wish to undermine the experience of pregnancy or the beauty in motherhood but rather shed light on the absence of responsibility we put on the men at the most crucial stage of a baby’s life. 

I feel strongly about this and I am unsure why. Overtime my thoughts have been enlightened and I continue to discuss with women, especially mothers to understand exactly what it is that they experience. This unfortunately has almost always turned into an argument between can a woman who has never been pregnant or given birth truly comment let alone understand what the experience may be like or what the natural instinct of a mother is to even begin on fighting the case for men. That I am trying to figure out for myself, either way though it is something I am passionate about discussing lately. 

Sunday November 11th 2018

Day 11: Something you always think ‘What if…’ about.

What if … this is not what I am supposed to do, not who I am supposed to be and not where I am supposed to live. 

Monday November 12th 2018

Day 12: What are five blessings in your life?

  1. Friends – Specifically Pollito
  2. Family – Specifically my Mum
  3. My Insight – Specifically Spiritual 
  4. My Passion – Specifically Writing
  5. My Hope – Specifically the ability to have perfect knowledge and be able to worship in completeness. I wonder what it would be like to worship God perfectly, to pray perfectly or go every single day with a perfect mind. 

Tuesday November 13th 2018

Day 13: What are you excited about?

The release of the Samsung Galaxy S10+. It’s been a long time coming and it will represent how much time has passed in my life too since my love for Tech which forged many different relationships in my life. It became the bridge to many toxic relationships so that we could meet common grounds and impart positive vibes to each other. Mostly my Dad. He is an Iphone guy though so the two events don’t correlate quite well.

Wednesday November 14th 2018

Day 14: Post Your Favourite movies that you never get tired of watching.

This is hard but here are a few that come to mind first. 

Thursday November 15th 2018

Day 15: Bullet point your whole day.

  • Slept at around 6am
  • Woke Up at around 6.30pm
  • Missed GP Appointment
  • Missed Meeting
  • Ate
  • Went to bed at around 10pm

It was a horrible day. 

Friday November 16th 2018

Day 16: Something that you miss.

routine.

Saturday November 17th 2018

Day 17: Zodiac fitting you … blah blah.

No thanks.

Sunday November 18th 2018

Day 18: Post 30 Facts about yourself.

Wow thirty is a big number! I’ll give you 5. and they’ll be eye opening and revealing facts. Something I don’t talk about quite as openly as I probably should is my mental illness. Aside from depression I fear I have a slight bouts of OCD and Bipolar. Life has gone for a gold medal in change this year and some things can’t live in the same shadows it used to live in. So here are 5 facts about my OCD I never share…

  1. In my own house I only drink from plastic cups or my own personal dedicated mugs. Not even guests are allowed to use these mugs. I also can’t use the mugs if they have been recently washed. Unlike my plastic cups which must stay upstairs in a plastic bag in my cupboard the mugs I have (all 2 of them) must be stored in a specific cupboard, on a specific shelf in its specific spot. Did I mention each mug is allocated its use? Clear mug for herbal teas and the White ceramic mug for English Teas. 
  2. I Can’t touch certain foods, like bananas. I can immediately sense the smell and even presence of bananas in a room even if it is in a bag or in a bin. Put one near me and I’ll literally scream and run away. It’s not that I am scared, I just rather not touch it or have it touch me. No idea why.
  3. I count steps as I go up or down a flight of stairs. I also avoid stepping too deep into a step and stay on my tip toes to minimise contact unless it is absolutely clearly clean or it is a place I am completely familiar with.
  4. When paying at a supermarket i hate it when the cashier slides the food down the pack station. If any items of food touch the corners or sides of the packing station (that term sounds american but I can’t think of what we call it in England) then I try to memorise which one it was or packing it in a memorable way so that I can either avoid eating it later on or if I can eat it I just have extra caution. It depends really.
  5. Thankfully I drive but I avoid walking on pavements as much as possible. I noticed when I go abroad I relax more and don’t mind going on walks. The floors in London are generally not very clean. I was in Malta not too long ago and was surprised how clean it was there. Miami has been by far the cleanest place I have travelled to. Most people are aware that the roads and pavements are horrible in London but they don’t allow it to affect their lives. I often find myself looking for evenly coloured spots to step when walking and nobody ever keeps up with me. If I am walking to the shop from the car with someone, I’d likely end up just meeting them in there. 

I know how weird I must sound after all of this but it is something I have kept quite private until now. There are many more things but I decided if you truly want to know me then this is probably the best place to start. Of course I try to not bring attention to myself as much as possible when I am out or around people who don’t know me well or I think won’t understand my quirks. However family members and the closest of friends generally know some of these above. Quite crazily even some of my boyfriends didn’t know some of the things. I guess I always just hope that somehow it just won’t be the case anymore. I could wake up, go downstairs and just drink from the first glass that presented itself. Until that day though… I guess that’s me.

Monday November 19th 2018

Day 19: Discuss your first love.

My ‘first love’ was just a beautiful connection, I now know it was ‘like’. My first ‘love’ was a lesson I guess I really needed to learn. My ‘true love’ hurt me and that doesn’t seem like the thing a true love would do. So truthfully I believe until I am married no one has captured my heart completely. There is something special about that bond, that three-fold cord. Something solemn. Something true and I believe real Love, ‘my love’ … is found among all of that.

Tuesday November 20th 2018

Day 20: Post about 3 celebrity crushes

I have a new one actually. So In no specific order I’ll say… Blake Griffin, Kristen Stewart and Maluma Baby!

Wednesday November 21st 2018

Day 21: What lessons do you want your children to learn from you.

  • Put God first
  • Don’t Love someone who hurts you
  • Lies are damaging
  • You can be good at anything you put your mind to but you’ll need to focus because it takes so much more to be great
  • You’ll hear all the rules, and still break them. You’ll know how to avoid nearly all mistakes but still make them

Thursday November 22nd 2018

Day 22: Put your music on shuffle and post your first 10 songs.

We done this already so instead I’ll post my 3 last YouTube Videos I watched and enjoyed.

That literally sums up my week in videos actually. Whatever sparks emotion, passion and takes hardwork or dedication. That is what I wish to fill my mind with. 

Friday November 23rd 2018

Day 23: A Letter to someone, Anyone.

Dear Me,

Admit your limitations, find ways to grow in areas you have maybe neglected and allow others to help. 

Regards,

Me.

Saturday November 24th 2018

Day 24: Write about a lesson you’ve learned the hard way.

Mental Illness is not something to be embarrassed about. To seek help is to self-love. Let everyone in on what is happening within. Even if there are no words, let the tears fall because if you try to hold them in, it will only over-fill and spill. Medication is not bad, it’s a potential solution. Choose to help yourself before life forces you.

Sunday November 25th 2018

Day 25: Think of any word, Google It and then write something based on the 11th image that appears in the search results. 

Time Heals.

Monday November 256th 2018

Day 26: Write about an area in your life you would like to improve.

Where to start! I guess first I need to limit myself. All my life I have told myself the world is my oyster and anything I wanted to do I could achieve. And although that mindset is potentially beneficial. It can at times create mental boundaries, because the moment you hit a brick wall your in a complete dilemma and your whole ethos or theory about who you are is put to the test. That is tiring! I’d like to stop that.

 

Tuesday November 27th 2018

Day 27: Basically, what IS doing well?

My soulmate friend. x 

 

Wednesday November 28th 2018

Day 28: 5 Things that make you LOL.

  1. The Office (US Version)
  2. XFactor Auditions
  3. Friends & Family they are full time comedians
  4. Dad Jokes
  5. YoutTube pet videos

 

Thursday November 29th 2018

Day 29: What are your goals for the next 30 days?

  • 15 hours
  • Save £350
  • Den Room Plans drawn up
  • Prep Kitchen for renovations
  • Work Hard
  • Pay any outstanding bills to start 2019 free of bills
  • Plan payoff’s: Go yearly on subscriptions vs monthly

 

Friday November 30th 2018

Day 30: Your highs and lows of the month.

Low: Spells of Disassociation 

High: Soulmate Friend returns.

 

24 truths

my 24 truths for you.

2018-01-04 00_41_03-Editor - PicMonkey Photo Editor and Graphic Design Maker
truth #1

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truth #2

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truth #3

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truth #4

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truth #5

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truth #6

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truth #7

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truth #8

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truth #9

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truth #10

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truth #11

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truth #12

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truth #13

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truth #14

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truth #15

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truth #16

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truth #17

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truth #18

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truth #19

 

2018-01-04 01_02_29-Editor - PicMonkey Photo Editor and Graphic Design Maker
COMING SOON!

2018-01-04 01_02_29-Editor - PicMonkey Photo Editor and Graphic Design Maker
COMING SOON!

2018-01-04 01_02_29-Editor - PicMonkey Photo Editor and Graphic Design Maker
COMING SOON!

2018-01-04 01_02_29-Editor - PicMonkey Photo Editor and Graphic Design Maker
COMING SOON!

2018-01-04 01_02_29-Editor - PicMonkey Photo Editor and Graphic Design Maker
COMING SOON!

May 2017 Writing Challenge

24 Reflective Questions

This year my writing challenge made me dig a little deeper. This is honest and revealing! 

 

  1. Something  I thought about a lot as a child was…

 

I used to think about many random things but since a young age I was fascinated with technology and would try to predict the advances that may be in the near future. I saw oyster cards and contactless debit cards, QR codes and the power of video and image based social media sites like Snapchat and Periscope, before they even became a thing. I used to come up with business ideas and record them on my laptop, I still have hundreds of clips of me talking about my business ideas and thoughts on the Tech industry. I wish I had taken myself more seriously back then.

 

 

2. One thing I’ve always wished for is…

 

To be able to wake up generally and love my routine. I always wanted to be working for myself so that I could have flexibility in my time and freedom of choice for the projects I worked on. Aside from that I really wanted a Green Kawasaki motorbike too, whether it was a mini motor or a real beast.

 

3. If I received £10,000 that I HAD to spend on myself, I would..

 

Put most towards decorating my new house. It’s a need but also something I genuinely would love to be able to finance myself  which will make me happy and of course my mum. If I had to think selfishly though and only benefit myself I would go clothes shopping and buy a load of gadgets. I would love to have the Samsung Gear s3.

 

4. One thing I know I need to work on is…

 

My focus. I get easily distracted from my goals and motives. I have to write down my thoughts and expectations for myself regularly otherwise I gradually side-track. I think if I was more focused on my goals I would be happier. Having these goals make me happy, but failing to achieve them make me sad – I’d like to close that gap within my emotions and I think ‘focus’ can do just that!

 

5. I’m most proud that I…

 

Have relied on power beyond me to be in the position that I am with regards to work and personal goals. It has taken a load of loss to gain the blessings that are before me and I am proud that I let things plan out. Sometimes we can’t see the full picture, we just have to trust that if we listen to the voice saying “This is the way, walk in it” we will be rewarded. A hard lesson, but I have seen it work many times in my experiences, especially over the last year.

 

6. In the next year, I really want to…

 

Learn Spanish. I have been trying to learn for nearly 7 years, but I haven’t really set my mind to it. This year however my circumstances have allowed for me to make it more of a priority. Thankfully, I now have help too and so I think there is a good chance I’ll get there. Although it has always been my goal, I have never been as optimistic as I am now.

 

7. If I could ask any person just one thing, it would be ____ and I would ask…

 

Daniel Lorick. I’ll explain, this was one of my best friends. I felt so much respect from him and I’ll be honest I removed him from my life at a time where I was very confused. I thought I was making a mature decision but rather it was out of impulse and frustration because other areas in my life was not going to plan. I knew he respected me and so therefore would comply with my wishes. That was my biggest mistake. I took for granted a very special relationship I had built and I’d like to thank him. If I could tell him how appreciative I am of him it would make me slightly happier with the person I have become. He guided me emotionally and shaped me as a writer. He expressed his confidence in me right from the beginning and for that I owe him so much. Wherever he is now, whatever he is doing, I hope he is truly happy…. He deserves it. It has been 8 years and I am still especially fond of him.

 

 

8. A silver lining in a not so good situation that happened recently is…

 

My mothers illness has progressed and a number of concerns have now become the root of her problems. However although this has resulted to me having to increase my care for her, it has also brought us closer together. It has also revealed how many care, for us love us and are supporting us each step of this very trying experience. We have got such great people in our lives, truly a blessing from God and I can not be more grateful for them. I don’t believe I would have been able to notice their love if it wasn’t for this change in circumstance, and therefore would say change has been the silver lining to our grey cloud.

 

 

9. The skill I’ve always wanted to have is…

 

To be multilingual. If I could chose 5 languages to learn over night I would choose – Spanish, Kweyol, Danish, French and Russian. Either that or be able to sing!

 

 

10. A sentence that stopped me in my tracks and changed my outlook was…

 

Something that I heard in a morning worship video on tv.jw.org

“We kneel before God so that we may stand erect to face our challenges”.

This reminds me that my strength comes from the provider of peace and comfort. With that strength, we face challenges – firm.

 

11. The ways I’ve grown over the past 5 years are…

 

Hmm…

  • My writing
  • My positive outlooks in life
  • The quality of my friends and association
  • My spiritual knowledge
  • My love for spiritual things
  • My relationships with others

Likely many more but I can’t think, generally my summary is that it hasn’t been 5 years of physical growth, it has been all about mental, spiritual and emotional growth.

 

 

12. Something I’d like to achieve one day is…

 

Help someone to progress to baptism. I study with pre-teens currently and so seeing their spiritual progress has been such a blessing. It is rewarding in so many ways and equally challenging but I have learned that all I am doing is watering… Jehovah makes it grow.

 

13. The best bit of advice I could give to a younger me is…

 

The goals you have will shape you. Do not aspire to be rich physically, be rich spiritually and then you will have true happiness. Some things look impossible, that’s because you are looking through your eyes, look at things from Jehovah’s perspective and then they all suddenly become attainable. The only mistake you can make is not getting up… every time you fall, get up. As quickly as possible.

 

14. A book that I always re-read is ____ , because…

 

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. This book helps me create word pictures in my mind. I truly imagine every scene as if I have been there. It inspires a number of my poems and as a writer I appreciate how elegant and specific Charlotte Bronte is. Beautiful writing.  

 

 

15. One thing I’ll never regret is ____, because…

 

Not giving up. Because that would be quitting, and I am not a quitter.

 

16. The quality I admire most in others is…

 

The ability to be selfless. I know some really generous individuals and they have taught me to give more. I try to make at least one person smile each day. A genuine smile, one that is from the heart. I love to see a genuine smile, if that is all I can do, I’ll be happy.

 

17. If I could be a go-to person for anything, it would be…

 

I hope I could provide comfort. Just to be able to say the right things at the right time to help them to feel better about themselves or a situation they are in. If someone thought “I’d like to be comforted today, let me go see Liz”… I would be over the moon. The ultimate source of comfort is God but I’d like to use the comfort that he has shown me to be able to comfort others.

 

18. If I could go to any point in the past or future, I would…

 

Go to my past and not answer the phone, I would do things so much differently. You see a year ago today I wrote a message to someone declaring all the reasons why I thought we could work. Now, a year later I realise those were the reasons why I wanted to make it work, not necessarily things that would make it work. And so 2 days prior I could have hurt a little less if I never answered my phone, but rather recognised the end of something great and just accepted it. I guess you live and you learn.

 

19. The thing that I’m most afraid to tell people is…

 

I am not okay today. I fear showing weakness because in the past it has been used against me. In the past I have been told I am a risk, I am a liability and that I am a chance. That is because they knew I was weak. However, today I am weak, but my strength is not what I rely on anyway – so therefore it does not determine my outcome. I do not become my weakness. I fight through it and I am not a risk, I am not a chance, and I will never allow another person to tell me that I am, ever again. I am not okay today, but that doesn’t determine me, my personality, or even tomorrow, it’s okay not to be okay. 

 

 

20. The thing that I’m most thankful for is…

 

My love for research. My love for studying has helped me find answers to the questions I have, the doubts that echo in my mind and the worries and fears I have nurtured for so many years. Finally I can study, I can research and I can have an answer to it all. I no longer am lost. I am so thankful for this.

 

21. When people first meet me, I hope they feel…

 

Welcome. I like to make people feel valuable and important. I want them to feel precious and loved. If I can leave any impression on someone when I first meet them I want them to feel welcomed and at ease.

 

22. Something that I’d love to do today (that I can easily do!) is…

 

Study. There is something I particularly want to study and I have been thinking about it for the last few days. I want to improve my communication with my best friend. There is a way to do this and I feel like I am getting lazy. That is what I want to do, and what I will do. I promise. Aside from that I really need to change my bed sheets, I’ll do that also 🙂

 

 

23. The roles that love and affection play in my life is…

 

Love – it determines how much I give and how much I allow myself to take.

Affection – allows me to express to those who I care about, exactly how much they mean to me.

They play very important roles in friendships and relationships. I feel it to be so crucial that with every person I interact with I think to myself “how can I show them love, and how can I show them affection”. I use to struggle to hug people or compliment people, I was socially awkward, yet now I have people in my life that deserve that validation and I feel privileged to be able to offer it.

 

 

25. My life story in as much detail as possible within 4 minutes of typing is…

 

I never truly appreciated my inheritance, but as time went on and my conscience began to form, I started to realise what was expected from me. I blocked out others in my life who could have served as grand examples to me, because I thought that I had to just live life independently, that no one rule fits for all. In fact it was my biggest mistake and thinking I could correct things alone was evidence that I couldn’t. Not before long did I find myself sitting with experiences in life I could never share, I could never happily recall and bring to heart without my eyes watering and a lump of sand in my throat. My story was a disaster and I thought it was too late. But then I started to surround myself with smarter people, people smarter than me. People who had used the rule and applI’d it in different circumstances in their lives. They saw the full power of the rule, learning and teaching that it in fact “becomes all things”. Then I understood, finally I knew how I could possibly make a better future, and write new parts to my story that I could be proud of. And ever since, I have been doing just that. TIME UP.

 

 

April 2016 Writing Challenge


April challenge

 

Friday April 1st 2016 – 1. Your Biggest Dream

My biggest dream? I was wide awake standing in Miami overlooking the most beautiful city I have ever seen with my own eyes. I saw the buzzing lives of people of all ages, I saw the power of people. I stood there wondering what did I have to do to be happier? I was surrounded by people who lived similar lifestyles to me but yet it seemed we had very little in common. Was it the fact that London had no sun? That it only had trees but yet Miami had palm trees that brought this instant vibe to the landscape? Or maybe the people, London was full of buzzing people too but it was all about getting somewhere, my impression of the Miami life is that of course you should have somewhere to go but you should enjoy the journey it takes to get you there. So I promised myself I’d enjoy my journey a little better. There are places I’d really like to travel to, things I’d really like to do. I’m not changing the path I currently walk, I know where my destination is, I just want to enjoy the journey a little better. This planet we live in is not to be taken for granted, so beautiful is its every inch, I want to dedicate time to appreciating that. That is my biggest dream.

 

Saturday April 2nd 2016 – 2. What place do you consider home?

This is an interesting question. I think home has always been where I could feel safe, somewhere where I can escape things that hurt me or make me feel vulnerable. Somewhere I have made my own, and that portrays who I am on the inside. My literal home I feel belongs to my mum, I’ve always been keen to move out in order to decorate my own house and have those responsibilities for myself. But since I have always lived at home I take pride in just a room, my own space, my little think tank. My room is my hide out, my sanctuary nearly. Enclosed behind these four walls (probably more) are memories of me no one else will ever know. I change my room around regularly, redecorating and lately, since I got into a relationship (7 months ago) I have had the urge to redecorate. I have re-organised things, change the bed location, brought new items, but nothing drastic. I think it may be time to take my little home and redesign it to portray the new elements of me that has been brought to life in the last few months. Until I move out though, there is no place on earth I can escape to, I’ll always miss my whitewashed walls, the warming images and quotes that lay on them and the thick comfort of my duvet on my bed. They say there is no place like home and it is true.

 

Sunday April 3rd 2016 – 3. What are you most grateful for?

I am most grateful for a lot of things right now, it would be dishonest if I didn’t mention that from the outset. But I think I’m going to dwell on something that I know many would say and it is not because I am trying to  hit familiar grounds with you all – I’ll explain exactly why. This is from the heart. I love how in the last few years my family have been there for me, how they have been supportive and haven’t judged me but rather helped me in any ways they saw possible. I haven’t felt I was completely deserving of the love I have been shown, but they gave it nonetheless. When I say family I also mean friends, these ones who choose to stay by you and never leave. They picked me up when I was down, some of them even carried me; physically, emotionally, and financially. It has been such a hard year but thankfully I have some amazing people in my life who do not dismiss my mistakes but still do not dwell on them. I also have others in my life who do dwell on my mistakes but manage to do it in a way that it encourages me to not make them again, this is a humbling experience for me and I think if it wasn’t for those ones I’d try putting it all behind me, which is good to some degree, but a level of acceptance must happen first and I don’t think I truly accepted things. Lastly there are two main people I think deserve to be called out and that is my Mum, she is amazing, in her everything. Our relationship has always been strong but it’s also transparent now, we speak honestly and openly and I enjoy this privilege. Secondly, my boyfriend (Christino). It has been 7 months and I must admit it hasn’t been easy (we’re not perfect). He always get’s on to me for saying that, but we are not! I need him to always remember that just as much as I do. It’s not an excuse, it’s the reason why we need to try that extra bit harder always. I have high hopes for us and he is very special to me, there is a reason our paths have crossed. I’d like to just say thank you to everyone who played a part in my ‘feeling appreciated’, because no matter how strong I can claim to be, without these ones progression would have been impossible. They are truly “God-Sent”, and I love them dearly.

 

Monday April 4th 2016 – 4. The most important qualities in a friend?

My closest friend who I have known for nearly 15 years moved to Mexico in February. This was hard on us both because we saw each other a lot. She was only a 7 minute drive away! Now she is 5,454 miles away! I learned throughout the months so far that the only thing that separates us are those miles, and that is by no means enough to take away what we have. So the most important quality in a friendship needs to be love – it’s our care for each other, our sincere concern for each others happiness that keeps us so close. The time difference doesn’t affect us much, technology means I can still contact her free of charge and so I don’t feel like it’s impossible. She returns in May for a bit before travelling back for good. The test of our friendship has been done and true love and concern has proven victorious! I am so proud of the steps she has taken to make her goals come true and it motivates me to stay focused on my own goals. She will be working on her Spanish while she is there, my only wish is that when she returns we can both speak the language confidently, it has been our goal for years now and so even I have gone back to learning it! Hasta Mañana!

 

Tuesday April 5th 2016 – 5. One thing you need to stop doing

I need to stop delaying the changes that I need to make within myself. There are qualities I want to posses but I am finding it so hard to stay true to that passionate side of me that is driven to being better. I often talk myself out of things or worse, I talk myself into them. I wish I’d stop being so weak. I know what I do wrong though, I rely on my own strength. There is an amazing scripture in the bible which highlights where our strength should come from. This scripture brings me so much comfort when I feel I can not go on. 2 Corinthians 12:10 “So I take pleasure in weaknesses, in insults, in times of need, in persecutions, in difficulties, for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am powerful.” It’s the holy spirit given by God that will give us the strength that we need. The bible warns “Keep your senses, be watchful! Your adversary, the Devil, walks about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour someone”. That ‘someone’ is many, and so we all need to be watchful. The bible, hasn’t always governed my steps, at a young age I dismissed the teachings, leading to some detrimental outcomes. But what a mistake that was in itself, it now serves as a protection, what a privilege to have a book inspired by God. I now have the power I need to stop, I just have to believe in it; having faith that if I ask for it, it will be given.

 

Wednesday April 6th 2016 – 6. One thing you need to start doing

On a lighter note I need to start learning Spanish. This time though, demanding with real results! My friend who moved to Mexico will be strengthening her Spanish speaking and listening skills and so I need to be working on mine too. It has always been our goal and so it is imperative I make it happen this year. I have a few Spanish speaking people in my life that I can utilise and so I think it is time! Listo!

 

Thursday April 7th 2016 – 7. How are you feeling today?

Today started with no energy or motivation to get up but with an interview at 9:30am I had no choice. Before I knew it I was enroute. I think it went okay and I generally always leave interviews with a sense of accomplishment. I then got home and felt drained, that’s been a common theme for me as of late. It’s very unusual. In between some bits and bobs I had a good couple of hours rest before having lunch and preparing for my religious meeting. By 7:00pm I was out the door. Which began the best part of my day. I left feeling motivated,  encouraged and happy to say the least. It doesn’t last forever as I enter back into my routine of life in this life-sucking system, and soon I remember all my troubles.  I close my eyes with still a glimpse of hope however that maybe if I try a little harder I may actually get what my heart desires, but that’s for another journal entry! Oh and I won the brown prize on McDonald’s Monopoly. My second win since I’ve been playing this at the age of 16, the last time was headphones – way better than an extra value medium meal *sigh*. So that’s today.  To answer in short, how do I feel today?  Hopeful.

 

Friday April 8th 2016 – 8. Three things you and your best friend have in common

I’ll keep this short and sweet. My best friend (Christino) and I share these common denominations.

  • Similar life experiences
  • Creative mindsets
  • Love for God

 

Saturday April 9th 2016 – 9. Your life story in 5 sentences

  1. My mother raised me
  2. My experiences made me
  3. My challenges tamed me
  4. My blessings changed me
  5. My future is just as crazy

Not what you expected right? Well that’s all you’re getting. I doubt I can put my life story into 5 sentences even if I wanted to though. What a roller coaster!

 

Sunday April 10th 2016 – 10. A place you have never visited 

I was trying to think of one specific place I’ve always wanted to go but have never been and I couldn’t choose so I’ve picked one tourist attraction in London and one place abroad. Firstly, in London,  I would love to visit the London Eye and have champagne whilst in one of those V.I.P booths (I have convinced myself that they exist). Secondly, I would love to visit America (again) and I’d be cheeky and say I’d like to do a road trip around all of the States. That would be awesome! I’d love to write about my journeys and keep video diaries.

 

Monday April 11th 2016 – 11. How important is fame? 

I have a very unique view of famous people, I see them as normal human beings and I generally think of doing ordinary things with them like playing ps3 with Justin Bieber (unless he is #teamxbox), Bowling with Mile Cyrus,  Food shopping with Lorraine,  Grab a Pinkberry with Kristen Stewart and visit an Art gallery with Scarlett Johansson. So fame to me is not important,  I think it’s the person themselves that count. I would only want to have fame because of the financial stability – honestly everything else acquired with fame is overrated!

 

Tuesday April 12th 2016 – 12. What is a ‘perfect’ day? 

A day spent with people I love and care for – catching up,  laughing  (sometimes crying) but generally just being happy. I live for those perfect days where you sit back in the moment and think “I want to remember this forever.” And most often, you do!

 

Wednesday April 13th 2016 – 13. How do you make decisions? 

If I’m honest I’m not one to be known for making the greatest decisions in life.  But because of that, over the past few years I have been working hard to improve. So now my decisions often are slow and thoroughly considered. I take it before my best friend, Jehovah. I get a second opinion from my Mum and then follow up with more valued opinions from my human best friend (Christino). It’s now a process rather than impulse and I’ve seen great results. I used to think learning from experience was the best lesson but with age I’ve realised bible accounts and family/friends could have been great examples. I don’t need to touch fire to know it’s hot anymore.

Thursday April 14th 2016 – 14. Describe kindness 

Putting their needs before yours. When you get to the front of the line and let the person behind you go first. When you have loads of things to say that may hurt someone but choose not to say even one. Having natural affection for others you may not even know. Inviting someone to accompany you somewhere even when you think you know that the response will be – No. Knowing you’re better at something then someone else and deciding to teach them to be just as good if not better. When you remember to say hello to someone every now and again despite lately drifting apart. Forgiving someone even when it will be hard to forget. Accepting a quality in someone and helping them to be better rather than avoiding them. When you say or do something selfless and never regret it. That is kindness.

Friday April 15th 2016 – 15. 10 things you should always have

10. A bath

9. A goal for the day

8. A favorite number

7. A phone

6. A mentor

5. A hobby

4. A positive attitude

3. A savings account (even if there is £1 in there)

2. A future hope

1. A smile on your face

 

Saturday April 16th 2016 – 16. A word that you overuse 

“Awesome”.

 

Sunday April 17th 2016 – 17. A pun 

Here’s a few of my favourite puns;

“I’d tell you a chemical joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.”

“I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”

“I used to be a banker but I lost interest.”

“Claustrophobic people are better thinkers outside the box.”

 

Monday April 18th 2016 – 18. How would you like to be described? 

I guess I like to be considered as a friendly, approachable and generous person. I try to help people as much as possible. I also like to entertain people, make them feel at ease or at least be a familiar face for someone who may feel a little out of their comfort zone. I struggle with many good qualities,  who doesn’t,  but I would like to be known as the person with great intentions and always sees things through when it’s within her means.

 

Tuesday April 19th 2016 – 19. Your favourite song to sing

Peter Andre – Mysterious Girl. I don’t know why but the chorus of this song always comes to mind. Not ideal I know as it’s not the best song to sing but if I’m honest that’s my guilty pleasure. When I was younger I never understood the lyrics, I don’t think my mum did either. On the other hand only the Kingdom Melodies have the power to change my mood, give me hope or to make me be extremely self-reflective.  I love that about songs of worship.

 

Wednesday April 20th 2016 – 20. Would you like to know the future?

I feel like I already do. I don’t know life’s processes and so therefore can’t predetermine the unforeseen occurrences. However I have faith and hope in better for the future. I also have a clear idea about what I need to do to have a full share in that ideal future. I think that about all I should have an understanding of at this point. It is all I can manage. So the complete future is not for me but I just try to make my next step my best step until when I look back at my journey, at least for the most part, it’s a pleasant path I’ve created. Something I am working on and hopefully will accomplish.

 

Thursday April 21st 2016 – 21. How do you show people you care?

First of all, I hope that those in my life do feel cared by me. I think sometimes we over complicate the act of care. There are so many levels of care but generally the foundation is love. In many ways I try to remind people that I love them,that they matter to me. It could be a thoughtful word, deed or gesture. I think there is always room for improvement and I think the number one rule to showing you care is to identify what the individual needs in that moment and then try your hardest to fulfill that. You may not be able to fix everything but effort goes a long way.If they feel cared for you are doing something right. I think hugs are great too, you can really show you care for someone when you put your arms around them and hold them close. Something special is exchanged and it is priceless.

 

Friday April 22nd 2016 – 22. Your last important decision

I have always wanted to be married, I have always felt like I have so much love and affection to show that and that I would never be able to live knowing I didn’t give it to the right person. Marriage to me was the most wonderful bond that couldn’t be faked. It was the epitome of love. The vows, the commitment – it was something extravagant! But when I hit 22 and I saw the years fold beneath my hopes and dreams of being in a relationship that marked true love, I became scared. I genuinely feared marriage. Did I have what it took to be the wife I knew my husband would deserve? Would I be honorable before God enough to earn his third folded chord to bless my marriage? What would make someone commit forever to me? I had so many doubts. But then I met someone, it took me months to convince myself that I deserved this one and when I finally did I was still left with the decision to make. I have found a potential mate, but is marriage the path for me? Will this person be able to love me how I have always dreamed? Will they bring true happiness to my life? Will they battle doubts with me, for me and because of me? Soon I realised I will never have the answer to any questions I have written here, in fact the only moment I will actually have even a glimpse of a clue to the answers is when we say “I do”. So what drives people to marriage, to that stage, to that life journey? Hope. Hope that the answers won’t scare them even if they did find it out, hope that there is no such thing as a mistake in love. Hope that the chords we had faith in are so robust that there will never be a fear of wear and tear. What a beautiful prospect. My last important decision I made was to have hope.

 

Saturday April 23rd 2016 – 23. Something that is always easy for you

I always say please and thank you. This is something that I took for granted until I realised how many people in the world were not courteous, generous or grateful. They were not pleasant! I’ve seen ladies not feel special, not know what it felt like to be treated with the respect and value they deserved. I was once that type of young lady. But then I decided to be the gentleman, the pleasant human I wanted more people to become. My friends feel valuable and important around me, they never expect a door to hit them on the way into a venue, they never expect me to not be grateful for the things they do and they surely can now recognise respect and often return it. This doesn’t stop at friends neither, every human I meet, I try to show them the same respect and value I wish I had received. I show gratitude to men, I hold doors open for women and I take interest in kids. I find it easy to recognise ways in which I can be more pleasant and I enjoy it. On the other hand I also find it easy to drink a 500ml bottle of water in under 17 seconds. It’s an art!

 

Sunday April 24th 2016 – 24. A motto to live by

I have always loved this quote by Katherine Fulton – “We don’t want to continue thinking our way into a new way of acting, we want to act our way into a new way of thinking.”

I personally like the fact it requires effort, energy and will power. You need to be determined and focused and you have to have a drive, a passion beyond your own means. It eludes team work and consistency and encourages change and result. A transition we as humans have been striving for, for centuries.

I wrote an article based on this quote years ago. If you have time feel free to take a look. I have always wanted to give a presentation at somewhere like TED and so wrote this as a speech/presentation. It was actually a freelance job for a speaker but it wasn’t used in the end. Enjoy! This Is The Time To Act!

 

Monday April 25th 2016 – 25. Happiness Is…

Happiness for me lately has reshaped into something different. This year only the thought of attaining the following three things or states of being has contributed to my happiness but recently attaining them has helped me to wake up with more motivation and focus than ever before. Simply, Happiness is…

Stability , Companionship, Progression.

 

Tuesday April 26th 2016 – 26. Organised or messy?

I  support both – an organised mess! My ideal think space is the bare minimum, I like white walls with colourful wall art , the fewest items touching the floor and the comfiest furniture. There is no mess! However my room has to contain my pretty much “everything” except my wardrobe. Therefore organised mess is pretty acceptable. Thankfully my room is not messy, I have plenty of floor space, allocated storage space and an organised regime for everything. That’s what I call an organised mess!

 

Wednesday April 27th 2016 – 27. A recent compliment

This month a few friends and family have mentioned that they have been following this challenge and checking out my other work and that makes me feel happy and supported. The biggest compliment ever, it’s so nice to hear feedback and doesn’t make me feel like I am writing into space. Even though I quite like the fact I’m generally doing just that.

 

Thursday April 28th 2016 – 28. Where you want to be?

Back in Miami, soaking up the sun, exploring the sights and being lazy on the beach with something cool to drink. I’d go back and visit Wynwood and I’d like to get a burrito (or was it a Taco) from Bodega. With friends and family, definitely not alone.

 

Friday April 29th 2016 – 29. A happy moment

Today was the end of my first week (4 days) at my new job and the last day of the month and so the CEO gave me a little shout-out at the boardroom meeting and we got to finish early. The sun was beaming outside and I went back to East London, picked up my mum and took her shopping, picked up my Boo when he finished work from a nearby station and then dropped my mum home. We went to get oven pizza’s from Tesco, Mcdonalds Cheese Bites and Rekorderlig ciders to watch an old school western film with my mum. A simple, cheap night-in with my favourite people! I practically fell asleep but they loved it and that moment… just existing, was a happy moment.

 

Saturday April 30th 2016 – 30. Your preferred method of communication

Talking on the phone is powerful because you can hear inflection in the tone of voice, you can feel the laughing, you can sense the nervousness and you can enjoy the awkward silence. But writing has always been the ultimate method of communication for me. It is when I am able to be the most honest, the clearest channel of my thoughts and the very passion from my heart. I think that when someone writes to me and I can sense the inflation, hear the tonality, and feel the excitement – that is communication. At its, best I connect with people on a very different scale. It’s unique and private, can be revisited and can be stored. It is the extension of my fascination with words and there is nothing like a hand written letter. Those are beautiful. I still have my first ever letter. My first telephone conversation however – gone.


THE END

What an amazing challenge this has been! I really feel like it has taken its own form. It began as a challenge but became somewhat a journal, an output. A huge thank you to all who have been following from day 1. It’s my first challenge and I learnt so much about my style of writing from doing this. I would recommend this for anyone looking for something to extend their writing habits. It was hard to keep consistent and near the end I started falling behind. Although it was always on my mind and I’d answer the questions daily, I would delay on posting it. So it was a very healthy test of discipline. I also found it hard not to use the phrases; lol, haha or smh. With no emoticons I had to rely on painting more vivid pictures and being more descriptive, I think I will try to do this from now on, even when messaging. The formal style of poetry is very different to journal written work and so it was definitely challenging.

If you have enjoyed this all I ask is for you to share it with someone, a friend, a family member, your twitter, your blog, anyone, anywhere! Help me decide what to do next:

 

 

Thank You and Goodbye until the next challenge! x

– Eli Oko –