Still My Friend by Eli Oko & Nika Taite (Collaborative poetry)

Written By Nika Taite / Written By Eli Oko

I’m starting this note from the beginning to the end of our days
Maybe a friendship to you was just a mere passing phase
I hope you know why I’m doing this I hope you understand and comprehend
I hope you know that in my mind this wasn’t the way it was suppose to end
because to me you was always and will be still my friend

If I can, let me speak…

Do you remember how we met because I still do
I replay it in my mind over and over again as if it’s stuck to me like glue

Those day were like melodies, I remember the tune

Socially awkward but valued the silence from me, to you.
It was in first grade where you sat next to me and made us play and pretend
That this was the best day in our life because God sent us together and made us become friends

Can I say, I remember the day

I walked over, and I could see the sight on your face

No pretence see I can still sense the height of the scent

Mixed sense I could hear the smile on your face… isn’t that true?

I guess we had a different interpretation of what a friend should do
Because in my mind a friend should be around when you’re feeling down and very blue
Remember in seventh grade when you was invited to a party but I couldn’t attend

You sent me a text saying “I’m going to have to let you down again”..
Because my mother had gotten up and suddenly left

but you still went and told me not to worry because I was still your best friend

100 percent! I gave you space, I wanted to come round, that feeling to fade

But all that you lost I couldn’t replace

I was sitting there thinking, worrying more

Everyone shouted “Where are you going?” as I ran out the door.

Need I say this again?

I know that you were struggling. Remember I said. I was still your best friend.

What about ninth grade when I was walking down the hall and couldn’t say hello to you
Because suddenly you became little miss perfect and way too damn cool

My identity was unclear and validation I searched

But my intention was never to leave you, I never meant for you to feel hurt
For you it was so important to fit in and blend
Didn’t matter to you that I felt alone even though you considered me your most precious and close friend

So you know?

You made me feel like I had reason to go

My spring in my steps and my smile in my heart

A friendship I’d cherish passed the day that we part

I don’t understand, this letter you write

Is it to make me remember? Because it feels like goodbye

I’ve never stop needing you around

I’ve never truly felt brave

Just a few steps I remember

Without you, but it was all just a phase.

Oh and let’s not forget what happened in eleventh grade
My worst ever year because our friendship had been broken and my trust was betrayed
My father passed away and you didn’t even bother picking up your phone and even his funeral you did not attend
And what kills it the most when I approached you, you told me not to worry for you still considered me a friend

If I can, let me speak…

What did I do for you to hate the mere presence and sight of me
I’m hardly to blame that your so stuck in the school social hierarchy
Even when you was in trouble it was me that helped you up and it was my hand that would overextend
And you want to know why because to me you was still my flipping best friend

That’s why you’re dear to me, why can’t you see

Please just for one moment… If I can, let me speak…

Your sight was my sunshine, in so many ways

But you’re right, iv’e been selfish and I’m only to blame

Your hand I did clasp just in moment you never saw

Because your heart was so hard and your hands became sore

I was there when you called out, so many times by your side

But you never saw who was holding you, so much tears in your eyes

I whispered I cared so many times I can’t count

But your ears were used to bad news so each word you blocked out

I’m so sorry you feel this… but I promise it’s not too late

Because now we know, by your side I have stayed

And I regret this note, it’s you’re voice that I’d grab

And hold to it close….. You’re still the best friend that I’ve ever had…

There’s so much more to say but let’s not dwell on the bad
Because even though you became a cold hearted witch this note will just make you sad
I’m writing this note to you for one reason only and I’m not trying to offend
Because even if you wronged me I still considered you a friend

I won’t let you finish last – this you have no power to end

I will tear out my heart, your memories repair it again

I’m not leaving this here, I’m sure we can mend

Those moments I value, those moments I meant

I hope you know that in my mind this wasn’t the way it was supposed to end
because to me you was always and will be still my friend.