I found myself staring at his wall.
And as I imagined what the other side looked like I was blinded by the everything’s and nothings I saw.
It was cold as I stepped off the boat but it seems every journey I take unwillingly takes me to a destination I could only construct in my dreams.
But, awake I wrapped my arms around myself and waited. Patiently waiting.
Expectations disappoint, and the spontaneity of this moment was as beautiful as an unexpected moment gets.
No rules, no assumptions – just me and this wall. His wall.
Every now and again I get a glimpse of the other side, something merited to me as the birds started chirping and the glow between the clouds started to rise.
Perhaps this is all that I need.
A reminder, just a little thought to occupy my hours.
The other side was vulnerable but strong, it was like fine wine – preserved and as it became opaque I wondered if the boat will return. Not to collect me, it’s my choice to stand here, and for now – I am not leaving. It’s gone.
Will the boat bring more admirers of these grand walls? His wall.
My stay has been short and I don’t worry about the footprints that may have been on this part of his land before me.
But I do wish to have a little more time to explore, just a little more time to appreciate the revealing and fading of the other side. It became opaque.
How beautiful the other side is but how precious are his walls, some more penetrable than others. And this wall, this one I stare through with my eyes closed and heart open. I hope to one day permanently take down, and peer longingly into what it secures. That smile, those eyes and this touch… the one that wraps its arms around me and waits… patiently waits. It’s gone.
Keeping me warm – I anticipate the moments when its down or translucent at least. Because that’s when we have that moment. The ones we can’t take for granted. The ones that replay in our dreams and remind us of our everything’s and nothings and how worthless they’d be if it weren’t for the presence of each other.
I don’t need much more in life, just that one thing.
I’d like to stay alone on his island, but more than that, even if I am not alone. I’d like to take it down – so all can see the beauty that it protects.
And as I dwell on what the other side looks like I fall in love with the everything’s and nothings I see. And as sure as the boat that drifts away from his island is, and as sure as I am standing here – I feel happy to be found… staring at his wall.