The Cold by CeCe and Eli Oko (Collaborative Poetry)

You have left me before and it hurts every day

And this time around

I feel the cold

 

This time around I  feel the cold

Numb are the hands I once used to hold you

You know what it feels like

And so this time around I’ll let the pain sink in

I’ll let it grow and tear me apart

Sitting in what feels like the thick scent of loneliness, surrounded

 

Surrounded by people all day, all night

You ripped out my heart, and you kept it to yourself

I have hated you and loved you, everyday was a struggle

In your web I was caught and couldn’t run away

Do you know what you did?

You made me like this

Little and scared, unsocial in every way

 

In every way

I loved you in the ways that I knew best

Isolated in your pain, drowning in the thoughts in your head

Empowered by hatred

But driven by soul

At the time that you caught me

I had nowhere to go

 

I thought you were my friend, the best I had

I ignored your threats, kept myself on your track

Couldn’t see the one who truly cared, you pushed her away

That year was blurry, was never worth my time

To you, was it all a play?

You used me and threw me away

Enslaved me and broke me down

 

Broken – is the street light that flickers

Broken – is the doorbell that barely rings

Broken – is the heart that takes but never gives

the same way these things continue

I found reason to survive

She urged me to search for your truths

In an attempt to save me from your lies

 

My life I have restored, but you’re still on my mind

The cracks are visible of the pieces I’ve glued

My mind, soul and self perception are greatly screwed

 

Welcome to the cold

The rough edges of life

Welcome to the otherside

The feeling you’re used to

And helped me to understand

 

After all of that, of you, I still can’t think bad

You had your autocracy, the leader you were

Myself at your feet, you grew with the need

When we said goodbye, you fell down that hole

You wandered the new world, discovered democracy

You fell like Alice, you dreamt like her, but hope was gone, because I was not home

 

I was in the cold

With no reason to stay

But inside I can’t let go

So you’ve no reason to fade

 

 

I realize now, that I held you down

Just trying to help, I strangled you, right?

I hope you moved on, I clearly did

But no days go by without thoughts by your side

 

By my side

I hold dear thoughts of the past

Thoughts that since have grown tired

But continue to last

 

With you I wasted my time

In the end, I should have left so long ago

At least now I know

What I couldn’t before comprehend

We grew apart, melted away

I know I tried, at least that I can say

 

I can say I am thankful for the cold

The trials that made me new

The lessons that were learnt

When I was forced to see them through

drifting apart

I still hold parts of you here

And until i pass on in this world

It will never dissapear

 

The one you pushed away, she forgave me you know

You never called, and in the cold I couldn’t cope

Tears they pass, attempting to wash away the pain

 

But yet pain is the currency in which I continue to pay

 

After all this time, I see it clear

The memory of you will always persevere

 

Because this is the cold,

and we live there.

 

EO Notes:

Within a week it was all planned, written, reviewed and ready to share. It was fun working with CeCe on this project as I’ve never collaborated with someone I didn’t know offline. To my surprise it was easier than I imagined, words continue to fascinate me as it doesn’t matter where you are or where you come from we always find a way to connect through words.

Such an exciting project to work on with CeCe and I feel like it drives home an important perception of what we experience as humans, how emotions can reflect environments and creates a sense of familiar torment within us. Beautiful! I am sure this wont be the last you read from us!

Thanks CeCe!

 

Be sure to follow her online.

Cecilie Bode blog – Just This Random Life 

CeCe features on AFOTW EÖ Presents 》 Colors the series by Cecilie Bode

Instagram: Ceciliebode
Pinterest: Cecilie Bode
Twitter: Cecilie Bode @JustThisRandomL
Google+: Cecilie Bode

 

 

 

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