Have you ever taken a step back at something you were working on and thought, yes this is finished. I don’t mean like a plate of food you have just consumed. I mean something you care about, something you need to get just right. You make changes upon changes, you look at it intently from all different angles. If possible you read it aloud to yourself multiple times and then to a trusted source. And even then you feel it is back to the drawing board. You sit on it for weeks, sometimes months – not making any changes. Just meditating on it, like a bird sitting on her eggs. Maybe you’re getting the point, this is serious to you. You know perfection is impossible, but you want to get as close to it as possible. You want to smell perfections sweat, you want to feel its breath on your forehead as it looks down on you in pity but slight respect because, boy are you close.
Yes, you’re there. You step back and you realise… it is finished.
That is how I feel about my book. Works From A White Room Volume I. I titled it a year ago (maybe more). I started to tell people confidently months ago and then it sat on the back burner for many reasons, but the main one, it wasn’t ready. Until today, tonight or shall I say this morning as it has just turned 2:27am and I am buzzing. I should sleep but is sleep really for the person who has just completed their first book? If I publish this book and if even only one person buys it I can call myself an author. I am shocked and proud with myself. I don’t really want to write right now, I want to dance. But I couldn’t document my dance moves, look back in 5 years time and think, yes – that rhythm I had that night, it was emotional. So I’m writing. I haven’t gone down stairs to tell my mum yet. I’m just a little froze in time. Well it is now 2:30am – time clearly is not frozen, but I am. I am holding to this feeling. Sharing it here with you all first, because this is where it all began. I will publish this book, not just because it is a lifetime dream but because it speaks for me. It speaks about my past, present and future. It creates, recreates and celebrates stories I have lived. And it is all so personal. So transparent.
Okay I’ll document my mum’s response, I’ll run down now. I’ll be back.
She is proud. It’s been a long time coming and I explained some final changes I made and she supports it. She thinks I should be working hard on it now to get it out there, to build hype around its release and she is correct.
The hard part of writing a book begins and I’ll be honest if my close friends and family all support – that is what will mean the most to me. It’s my first book, a project that I have been wanting to complete for years and I just want to enjoy this feeling. It is now 2:53am and I’ll be honest I am exhausted. Maybe ‘Authors-to-be’ do sleep afterall.
Thank you for reading this and if you’re here supporting and reading this, then it’s evidence you will likely want to support the book.
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This is crazy, I can not believe it.
It is finished!
Another Fly On The Wall 