Obsessive Desire by Eli Oko

Paying attention to how much I was spending yet still spent £2 over

I need to pay more attention to the meals I have

I was sitting down cowering over my own thoughts and my belly was hanging over my thighs and I thought

I have to pay more attention to the meals I have

We sat there in an Indian restaurant and I loved the fact that the atmosphere was beautiful

I should be paying more attention to the meals I have

Closed minded I approach my vacations as it is a distant location but now anticipate that

I could have been paying more attention to the meals I have

It must be the lack of sleep or the lack of heat but I’ve started to drift closer to the light

Some may say

It must be the neatness of my bed in which I lay that shows tonight I haven’t twisted or turned

Whispered and yearned for your touch

I can’t fathom the words you say sometimes because my mind is preoccupied with the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ of my past at times

And even that guides me astray

I’m empty when I am not talking to you and you say you can’t save me or at least are not willing to

But yet you keep calling me at times I need to be saved

And you say words that rescue me

Why does your hands feel like they liberate me?

If you are not a hero why do you free me from my enemies hold?

And you ask how much do I weigh

And you ask if I’m still working out

You order the same as I but still those words never fall from my mouth

I know you like what you see but I’m still learning to like

What I see is a little less desiring to the eyes

Mind focused on the digits as they total up and amount to more

I need to pay more attention to the meals I have

As I slide into my comfort zone and the muffin tops fill the gaps that used to be left free I thought

I have to pay more attention to the meals I have

Each step we take together side by side, not quite eye to eye but the chemistry’s fine and the future bright

I should be paying more attention to the meals I have

Hearts opened to the events that unfold, it takes two to tango and our dance is now bold but I realise now

I could have been paying more attention to the meals I have