Citrus by Eli Oko

Citrus
The tongue tantalising
Sharp senses kind
The vibrant explosions of colour and flavour
The sweet burn of essence
I was under the nights sky that cried tears of loneliness
And each drop that splattered on my windscreen
Was like heavy drops of burning liquid slithering down my throat
The storms from the east had blessed this city full of insomniacs
Wide awake in its heavy down pour and freakishly tall fire lights
“Just a dark and stormy night”
An amateur weather reporter may report
But the weather and I have built better rapport
A relationship like this ought to have a title
It’s own crown and throne
I was being punished by the drips of empty hope that lay on my side mirror
As they each raced from top to bottom
My chances were running slim
“Left”, I’d bet and right would win
“Right”, I’d bet and they’d both be suspended mid-race and neither would move
“Neither”, I’d frustratingly conclude
And right would suddenly find the life within and fall
Faster and quicker than ever before
How unpredictable these drips of nothing were
Yet full of something my eyes could not see clearly
Embarrassing me
Shaming me for going from nothing to now more than nothing
This nothing, who sits and watch drips of water race
But if I were truly nothing, I think
Would I be sat here
As still as the moon
Or this leafless tree
Or homely houseplant in the neighbouring window to you?
I’ll give away my destination if you can tell me
If I were truly nothing could I have the power to destroy the most important things
Could I take something as valuable as sound and voice and make it silent?
No message from you tells me yes
Yes, you have caused silence
Yes, you have destroyed what is deemed to maybe only us as important
But no
No, that doesn’t make you something
This is a question I should likely ask my body that is now cramping from sitting
I should ask my body if some dramatic emotion drives it tonight
Here with only the roof of my car shielding me from the lonely tears the heavens have released
Is my body powered by the possibility that you being not so far
Makes me feel not so alone
And feeling not so alone makes being alone
All the more bearable
I wonder, body, do you get a measure of happiness
A smidgen of identity
Being surrounded by people who know exactly their calling?
Is that even possible?
Because sat here an arms throw from your door
In the comfort of the car
But the discomfort of my heart
Beating so loud it drowns out the sound of letters tapping on my phone
I can see now
I can feel now
Yes I truly taste your citrus buds
And the sensation of you is everything and nothing
I would ever wish to explore
And as I drive home tonight
I’ll talk myself out of thinking this is borderline stalkerish
And accept,
I’m crazy
I have completely lost it
Because what was supposed to be a writing exercise to help me think about something other than you
Became you
Every shape
Every tasteful experience
Your entirety
In a matter of time
Time spent finding a word for you
Realising
You are citrus.

Writing prompt #8 by Savannah Brown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYYBQbqDeEc

Prompts:

  • Dark and stormy night
  • From nothing to more than nothing
  • Ask your body
  • Destroy the most important thing
  • Plants
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